even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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