420 ftw
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
did you just send me my own nude
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize