She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
