Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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