I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
FUCK WHALES
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
