no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize