So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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