There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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