There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My cat gives me a boner
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
