My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
