I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
