Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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