this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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