he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
