Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
