So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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