Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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