Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
