How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
