Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
