i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
