How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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