you mean i was at the winter classic?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
