how can u be prego again
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize