I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
