You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
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