Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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