jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Randomize
