i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
