We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
