The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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