thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
