I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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