I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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