You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
