I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
