I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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