There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
