Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
