I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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