I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
