Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
