It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
