just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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