One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
