I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Randomize
