I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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