Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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