Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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