I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
