He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Randomize
