Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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