i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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