some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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