yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Someone shit on the floor
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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