What a fucking waste of an outfit
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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