ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
