Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
