No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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