She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
