Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
